Hope Is Dying
by Hazeru1001
Summary: The musings of a half-broken Jedi enslaved alongside the people he tried to save and how he deals with his own environment.


Hazeru - This is a one-shot set in the episode Escape From Kadavo, when Obi-Wan and Rex are held as slaves.

Hera - Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Hope Is Dying

A Jedi is not supposed to hate. They are supposed to forgive, to understand, to learn; peace keepers never begin a conflict that they do not intend to have end, and when they do, they do so with the best intentions. The Jedi protect the innocents, protection from whoever might be low enough – the Sith, on many occasions – to try and drag those unwilling to fight into a conflict that is not their own.

The Jedi protect the innocent, or at least, they are supposed to be able to do so.

But although Jedi are powerful, they are not invincible; they are mortals with weaknesses, just like any other being with a pulse and a heartbeat. And inevitably, even a Jedi can be broken.

The one in chains knew that that was what these people were trying to do; they were trying to break his spirit, crush his morals, destroy what was left of his hope. They did it in the worst possible way: by harming others in his name.

He felt it – that twinge of agonising guilt, laced with misery and despair – deep inside his heart each time a prisoner was whipped by one of the sadistic guards because he himself had spoken, or not worked hard enough, or simply because the guard felt like making him suffer. He wished that he had some way of helping these poor people, but he was without his lightsabre and dared not use the Force to stop one prisoner's suffering, lest another ten be harmed for his misbehaviour.

There was no way for him to break free of this forced labour camp and no way for him to help the others escape. He could not even care for those who were in a worse state than he was himself, because – after seeing how it was the other prisoners who paid for the Jedi's mistakes – many of the prisoners here had become afraid of him.

He did not blame them; how could he, when they were hurt time and time again for mistakes they had not made. Obi-Wan tried; he tried so hard not to make any mistakes, not to antagonise the guards. He bit his lip and worked hard, never causing trouble, never trying to escape, never disobeying. He submitted to their tortures and made apologises for crimes he had never committed. He did everything he could to ensure that the Togruta prisoners around him wouldn't be punished for him.

But no matter how hard he tried, how hard he worked, it was never enough. If he made no mistakes, the guards would make up errors so that they could have the excuse to whip a fellow slave, telling him over and over that this was his fault, that he was doing this to them. And somehow, Obi-Wan found himself believing them.

After all, if he could only find a way to stop them – or better yet, if he had managed not to get captured on Zygerria in the first place – they would not have to go through punishments intended not to punish them, but to break Obi-Wan's spirit. He wondered if this was some plan cultivated by the Zygerrian queen, sure that he guards weren't smart enough to come up with it themselves – their only motivation to be here seemed to be money, and that they got a kick out of causing others pain, especially mighty Jedi masters.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, once proud Jedi master and now a slave, watched helplessly as a Togruta male was brutally beaten for failing to stand up after he had fallen; the male was weak from lack of nutrition, pale and gaunt, and unable to fight back. The Jedi's hand clenched as he struggled not to follow his instinct and use the Force to send the slave driver away from the poor man; to do so would only get both of them into more trouble, and others would be hurt as well, simply because that was what happened when Obi-Wan disobeyed his 'masters'.

The plan had failed, it seemed. He and Rex were enslaved in this horrible camp, and he did not know what had become of Anakin or Ahsoka; he hoped they were alright. Captain Rex, he had noticed, was not treated as brutally as he himself was – of this he was glad; the less people suffering the better.

After all, a Jedi would pay his life if it meant that the lives of others could be saved. It was the sacred code of the Jedi, that they were peace keepers who cared for the innocents of the galaxy. He would not break the code now.

But whether he himself would break or not was something he just did not know.

And as another Togruta prisoner was painfully whipped – disgusting crackles and screams of agony, a pleading voice that could find no mercy – Obi-Wan knew that, if he did not get out of here soon, he would either cause the deaths of the very people he had tried to save or be consumed by his own guilt.

Because a Jedi cannot live with himself after he has caused the suffering and deaths of so many. That is a trait found only in the Sith, the merciless. And Obi-Wan is not like them.

Hazeru - I wrote this because he looked like he was going to break a couple of times in the episode even though he didn't.

Hera - No flames, please. R&R.


End file.
